Sammy......the end.....

We said goodbye to our beloved furry baby Sammy, Friday, November 5.....an accident that never should have happened took him out of our lives way too early. To say we are grief stricken is an understatement, before Lily he was our one and only baby, losing him has been the hardest thing we have ever gone through. I can only find comfort in the fact that I know Sammy knew he was loved. We loved him from the moment he came into our lives 8 years ago. He was so small he could fit in the palm of your hand and no one expected him to live. We took him and loved him and he grew and became a vital part of our lives. I never want to forget him and that is what scares me the most. I loved him so much and still do, Brad too. Sammy was never intended for us, which is what made him even more special. He was supposed to be given to another family and we were supposed to get another male from the litter who was strong and healthy. I was picking up both pups to deliver and the moment I saw Sammy I knew he was ours. The lady I got him from told me how he was a fighter and would wait until all the other puppies had gone to sleep and then he would try to nurse, but because he was so small it was difficult for him. She gave him to me and told me to tell the family that got him if he didn't make it she would gladly give them another puppy from the next litter. When we arrived back home with Sammy the other family was there waiting on their puppy. They had no idea which puppy was intended for them and I had no intention of ever parting from this little runt, they received the strong healthy pup and we kept Sammy as ours. It was love at first sight. My mama gave Sammy his first bath with him in her palm and washing him with just her finger. She told me not to get too attached that she didn't believe he would make it because he was just too small. Make it he did, not only did he thrive and grow, he made it into our hearts and our lives so much so that we took him with us everywhere. Vacations were only planned in pet friendly areas, weekends away were centered around trips to PetSmart. I know Sammy knew he was loved, there is no way he didn't. We miss him so much. I find solace in words from my dear friend, Max, who sent me the kindest message that included these words, "You'll see him again...and you'll smile and cry every time you think of him....but after a while it will be easier to smile, I'll bet." I am sad for many reasons about losing Sammy, but the main one being Lily will not get to know him, they will never play together and she will never be able to hug him or receive his sloppy kisses...but I will be able to tell her about him, how he let me practice holding him like a baby so I would be ready to hold her when she arrived, and I will be able to show her lots of pictures and share all those good memories we have together of our time with Sammy. In this I find some comfort........

The Little Things....

Until you have a child (I used to HATE it when people said/typed that! now I know what they mean!) you don't realize how much you don't appreciate the little things in life. For example, a friends Facebook status today made me realize what a big deal getting to sleep in my bed again after having a baby was when it happened. It seemed like an eternity at the time, but really it was only about 6 or 7 weeks after Lily was born. Another of life's amenities that is sometimes overlooked, laughter....I heard Lily laugh out loud for the first time about a week ago, it was precious, it is music to my ears. Every day I get her to laugh and it makes my heart melt. Her daddy loves to "bounce" her on the bed so she will smile really big, it is amazing how we now stop and relish the little things in life.

I think back to where I was a year ago. A year ago this week I was super frustrated because we couldn't get pregnant, and according to my ultrasound a year ago this week is when Lily was conceived. I am so impatient, but I am glad God knows when to bring things into my life. I never, ever thought I would look forward to going home at the end of the day to something that poops and pees in a diaper, but oh how I do. I love her, I love her, I am totally and completely in love with her.......this quote never made sense to me until now......

"A child fills a place in your heart you never knew was empty." -- Author Unknown

Cereal!

So our pediatrician, Dr. Childers (who Brad and I both really like BTW!) told us we could start feeding Lily cereal at 3 months, so we started this past week, a few days early!!! She likes it more and more and is learning how to get it off the spoon! If she takes after her mama she will have NO problem getting anything off the spoon! LOL!!!

Introducing.....

Well, Lily Starling Hardee is here, in full force. She made her long awaited debut July 20, 2010 at 2:01 pm. After two days of labor and an epidural that didn't work our baby girl was born, weighing in at 8 lbs 3 oz and measuring a whopping 21.5 inches long. As a new mother I would like to say no one prepares you for the actual reality of what motherhood is. You are not warned that you will never have the same amount of sleep again and you probably won't be sleeping with your partner in the same bed for any amount of time. No one tells you that for the fourth night in a row of being up at 3 am with a screaming baby, you may not like the baby you have birthed very much. But somehow you muddle through.......

I just want to say I don't know what I would do without my husband, especially the first three weeks. He was there to take over when I could take no more, not to mention putting in overtime at work so we can afford the SUPER expensive formula that we need to feed Lily.

Lily is the missing piece to our puzzle, we love her like we have never loved anything else. I am so happy to have made it through those first few very rough weeks so now I can appreciate the blessing Brad and I have been handed. Sammy has adjusted just fine, much to my relief, and he loves her too. He is very protective of her and allows her to kick, drool and share my lap with no complaints. LOL.

Every day I cannot wait to get home to see that cute little face and get kisses and smiles! Brad and I talk to her about the stuff we are going to do as a family once she is old enough. She likes to sit on the kitchen table in her "bouncey" and "help" me cook supper. Everyone always told me there was nothing like motherhood, I never believed them until now. I never knew something so tiny could hold the biggest piece of my heart.

I am so thankful for a happy, healthy baby. God truly creates miracles when babies are born and I am so happy he has entrusted us with ours!

Are We There Yet?

36 weeks, 3 days, 3 baby showers and about 20 lbs later, this is the question I am asking. The novelty of being pregnant is starting to wear off and I am anxiously awaiting a busted water line if you know what I mean! LOL....I'm tired, its uber hot and I'm finding myself tossing and turning trying to find a comfortable sleeping position. Some mornings I wake up feeling more exhausted than I did before I went to bed! I went to the doctor yesterday and nothing. I have to give props to my husband, he has done everything under the sun to try to keep my stress free. My family and I have had a lot of challenges lately and I don't know where we would be without him. He is going to be a wonderful daddy and I cannot wait for the time when Lily does make her arrival. Brad informs me yesterday he needs a PINK shirt to wear home from the hospital, if you know Brad you know how shocking this is. Pink is just not something you would ever imagine Brad asking for. I guess little girls change their daddy's that way! LOL....I am finding myself obsessed with making sure every outfit has a matching sock, bow, shoe, etc. I'm stressed trying to find a bow to match her coming home outfit! Gah the pressure! We are so ready to meet her, but I want her to meet us when she is ready and not a moment sooner...no matter how uncomfortable I am!

The Countdown.....

So I have entered my 32nd week of pregnancy....and boy have I started to feel pregnant. I sometimes wonder who that is breathing so hard, and its ME! GAH! Its getting a bit more difficult to roll out of bed in the mornings and the two or three times a night I have to get up to pee, and literally thats what I do, ROLL out of bed. We had our first baby shower this past weekend and it was very nice. Lily received lots of clothes, blankets and diapers. All things she will need. I am looking forward to two more baby showers in a couple of weeks! Food, fun and friends! Until next time heres hoping I can keep my ankle swelling to a minimum and my breathing controlled!

Sammy.....

If you know me, you know about Sammy. Our almost 10 lb furry child. A runt that wasn't expected to live, and was never intended for us, he stole our hearts from the moment I brought him home from Ocilla, GA. Sammy has been our child for the past 6 years, he will always be our first born. To him I am Mommy and Brad is Daddy. I know people think we are crazy when we refer to him as our child, but we love him just that much and with a new baby on the way I am just as much worried about him as I am Lily. I hope he doesn't think we have tried to replace him and I don't want him to think we are pushing him to the side. We talk about Lily with Sammy on a daily basis, hoping he will get used to us saying her name. Brad directs Sammy to my belly and belly button and Sammy will stare at it with his head cocked to the side and his cold little nose pointed straight into my belly button while Brad tells him his baby sister is in there. Call me silly, but I am more worried about Sammy being alone while we are in the hospital than I am about actually going to the hospital. His Nanny Hilda has assured me she will take care of Sammy and even come sleep at our house so he can sleep in our bed and not break his normal routine. Thank goodness for grandparents! LOL....Anyway, heres hoping all three of us, furry child included, can adjust to having a new little person in our lives. We are so excited and cannot wait to see Lily and bring her home, and I hope Sammy feels the same way!